on 2/16/13 I was having a great day. I remember telling my nurse how good I felt and that I had not felt that good in a long time. It's funny how there are, so many times, a calm before the storm.
Saturday late afternoon my water completely broke. I had a moment of great fear and anxiety and was reassured by the nurses and doctors that I would have "fluctuations". The back of my mind knew this was no "fluctuation" but I did try to get some rest. Kyle luckily had planned to spend the night every Saturday night with me. I went to bed and around midnight began having contractions. There was really not much of a doubt that these were contractions. They hooked me up to the monitor and sweet baby was decelerating with the contractions given the amount of fluid I had lost. Needless to say, I got an IV, was transferred to the L&D unit and....you guessed it.....another bolus and infusion of the dreaded magnesium.
I will say that this round of magnesium was not as bad because the contractions hurt so much I didn't really notice. The doctors kept saying that maybe it would stop the labor but if baby wants to come, he will come with or without the magnesium's help.
The magnesium did work for a while and slowed my contractions down to one about every 30 minutes. I made it through Sunday contracting off and on and then Sunday night they began to pick up to every 7-10 minutes....that bought me an increase in the dose of magnesium, which did help.
I don't think anyone wanted to tell me that Mr. Stacey was coming and there was nothing I could do about it. I was trying to stay optimistic but my mind knew better and put me into survival mode. I knew I would deliver a baby soon. All I could think was to get me through the next 10 hours so I did not deliver my premature child with a known heart condition in the middle of the night. I am so thankful that I made it through the next 10 hours - although painful - for his safety and well being.
7:00am. The OB Came in to see where we were with things. She decided to check things out. I remember it didn't take long. She checked quickly, then came to the bedside to tell Kyle and I that I was fully dilated and they could, "see the head".
Fear, panic, sadness, anxiety and, admittedly, guilt overcame me. I knew what she was going to say but it felt like the words hurt so bad to hear. We cried and then we stepped up. We knew what we had to do. As a side note, my OB who has been with me through this experience came rushing in. She was not on call. She came to be there for me and deliver our baby. I was so happy to see Dr. Schmehil. I could have never asked for a better group of doctors at Associated Physicians. So supportive and so good.
I remember there were no less than 20 people in the delivery room while I was "doing my thing". Modesty is now lost! I was so glad the whole team was there. I was so weak from the Magnesium increased dose I don't know how it happened but I pushed for an hour and a half and welcomed Finnegan Andrew Stacey into the world on 2/18/13 at 10:18am. He weighed 2 pounds and 12 ounces and was 15 1/2 inches long.
I saw him briefly, in a blur....then he was taken by the NICU team.
There was such a calming feeling in the room. There were no raised voices, I did not sense anxiety or fear in the team as they resuscitated Finn. I was listening to see if I could hear it.... and I heard a cry. Be still my heart. I cannot explain the love we both have for this strong, brave, loved little boy.
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