The "big day"

“Hope is the thing with feathers 
That perches in the soul 
And sings the tune without the words 
And never stops at all.” 
― Emily Dickinson

Here we are, back again. I think Finn's style is to surprise us daily and cause a lot of production of gray hair.

Little Finn had a great afternoon. We were so optimistic that he was going to do really well in the operating room for what we were hoping would be a big surgery to correct a lot of big problems.
We were a little lofty with this one I guess.

Finn left his room at 2pm and the surgeons told us it would be at least a 4 hour case. They arrived back to our room at 4pm.  They started off the procedure with Finn on his side so they could get to the fistula in his trachea best. They were able to clip off the fistula but when the started trying to close the hole in his trachea, the tissue there was as thin as tissue paper. It just wouldn't hold a stitch. Finn did his usual of scaring the entire operating room, dropped his oxygen levels, and heart rate. This was not as severe as Tuesday's operation, thank God...but it was a scary time.

The anesthesiologist said that he was on his side and when they turned him to his back it was either life or death if he leaked. Once they turned him, he looked awesome. No leaking from the hole in his trachea..... yet. They will give him through the next 24 to 48 hours (ish). This is the amount of time they would anticipate it  would take for the hole to close over. If it starts leaking, there is not a lot more surgically they can do. He could quite possibly, once again, not survive the next few days.  If he does survive, we will plan another operation Monday to put his bowel back together.

 I am not even sure what to think. I just know I am afraid for my son and we are emotionally exhausted from this roller coaster. The good thing is that he is stable, he is strong, and everyone here says he is a fighter. I have to agree with them all. Keep fighting Finn, we can't lose you now. We love you so, so much.