Sad News

“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.” 
― Leo Tolstoy

It is always surprising to me how fast things change - in the blink of an eye.
The roller coaster that has been our lives for exactly one month today has come to an end. After such good news this morning, Kyle and I went home to have some lunch and wait out a big snowstorm that was coming down on Madison today.
I got a call from one of our favorite nurses around 5:30pm. She said Finn's lungs had both completely collapsed after his bronch, he had not urinated for 18 hours, he was needing more blood pressure support and they were getting a stat echo. She said we should come to the hospital.

We dropped everything and drove in the 7 inches of snow to the hospital. The fear and anxiety in both of us was palpable - we knew what we were walking into but it just hurt to think about.

When we got there, we were greeted by 2 of the neonatologists that have taken care of Finn. The nurses and nurse practitioner were working on Finn and they all had such a sad look on their faces. After talking to the doctors and thinking about everything Finn has been through and what he faces in the future - we made one of the most difficult decisions of our lives. We decided that he did not need to suffer any more. Finn was telling us he was ready and he was tired.

Finnegan passed away on March 5, 2013 a little over 2 weeks old. The sadness we have felt is so overwhelming that it hurts our hearts. I cannot describe our grief but I can say that we are at peace knowing Finn is in a better place now and he will not suffer any longer.

We know this was not an easy night for just us. The NICU team, anesthesiologists and surgeons who worked tirelessly to save Finn's life were grieving as well. I just have to say that we are so thankful for their skills and knowledge. Without them, we would not have been able to spend the past 2 weeks and live some special moments with our sweet son.

Thanks to everyone who has sent up prayers, well wishes, good karma, happy thoughts, etc and to everyone who has sent cards and been so generous with bringing food. It for sure helped make this beautiful experience somewhat easier.

 Our son, the fighter. He will always be remembered in our hearts and we will think about him every day for the rest of our lives.