Put in the knife and twist....

Bernie and I hanging out together

Life continues on. We were beginning to be more at peace with the news of Mr. Stacey's heart and our excitement of his arrival was picking up again......until Tuesday, February 5th 2013.

Monday night was a restless one. I was feeling uncomfortable all night and just didn't feel like myself. I remember noting some "drainage" (TMI, I know) that was very uncharacteristic of me. I woke up that morning with a strange, almost nauseated feeling and I just felt off. I thought it was just lack of sleep. 

My dear friends and cousins from Arkansas were hard at work planning my baby shower in 3 days so I thought maybe I should call my OB to get my symptoms checked out. I didn't want to travel a long way if something was wrong.

Of course I was in denial about my symptoms. Nurses are the worst patients, I think. I called my OB that morning and, in the spirit of my denial, took the latest appointment they had. I went in at 1:45 thinking they would blow me off as another nervous Nelly pregnant lady. I was wrong.

Turns out I developed what's called, "premature rupture of membranes". Pretty much, my water broke at 26 weeks and 6 days.  I remember my OB becoming tearful having to tell me this. Given the heart concerns and now the threat of prematurity, things were beginning to look so grim. I cried. I cried so much.. I was grieving for my son and I felt so out of control.. She said, "Amy - you aren't going to Arkansas. You have to go straight to the hospital".

 No baby shower. No Arkansas trip. No more work. No more Bernie. No more nursery decorating. No more Saturday errands with my sweet husband.....for a few months. I was going to the hospital. I was going on bed rest. I was so very afraid. 

My goals and priorities suddenly changed and nothing else mattered. My love for this little boy grew and grew and at that point I was willing to do anything to keep him from coming out early.....